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Articles
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Your Possible Partners
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Neil Clark Warren
http://www.new-dating.com
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One, Five, or Five Hundred Possible Partners?
A few months ago, I was talking with a couple of my staff members, let's call them Audrey and Mike, who are both in their late twenties. I posed the question, "How many people in the world do you think you could be happily married to?"
Audrey thought for a moment and then replied, "Five. I think there are about five men out there who match exceptionally well with me."
I couldn't resist giving her a good-natured jab. "There are approximately forty million single men in the U.S., and you could be happily married to just five of them? Wow, you are particular!"
She gave me a punch in the shoulder, and I turned to Mike. "Well, then, how about you Mike? How many people could you be happily married to?"
"Fifty," he said immediately. "I bet I could marry any one of fifty different women and be extremely happy."
They both looked at me and I said, "I think you're both selling yourselves short. I suppose there are five hundred-probably more-women with whom I could be extremely happily married."
"That many, Neil?" Audrey said. "Seems like you aren't particular enough."
I reminded them of the study we conducted. "Out of all the women in the world, there must be at least five hundred with whom I would match on all twenty-nine items. And there are probably thousands more I'd match with on, say, twenty-six or twenty-seven items and still be quite satisfied."
As I told my associates, I believe soul mates are made, not born. You start with the ingredients for a highly compatible, successful relationship, and then you work to develop closeness and intimacy. Does this mean you lower your standards when it comes to finding a partner? Absolutely not! It simply means you "expand your field of vision."
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Neil Clark Warren
http://www.new-dating.com
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