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Infidelity: Forgive or Forget It

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Infidelity is a perennial hot topic in the celebrity tabloids, but it turns out that affairs are no stranger to the average marriage either. Do you forgive or forget it if cheating occurs?



It's serious business when one partner breaks the bond of marriage by cheating, but is it possible to move past the betrayal and stay in a "pretty happy" marriage in the wake of an affair? Redbook readers debate: Is infidelity a deal-breaker or is there room for forgiveness?



"WORK IT OUT."

It takes two to make a marriage and two to break it. When my husband had an affair, I felt it was my fault too, because I'd been too caught up in work. Even though it hurt like hell, I forgave him, and our marriage has been stronger ever since: We stopped taking each other for granted and now we are more in love. In a way it's the best thing that could've happened to us!

— Cindy Wyatt, 49

Blytheville, AR



If the cheater is truly remorseful and willing to work hard to repair the damage, and the cheated-upon is willing to work hard to forgive, then the couple has a shot to survive and even come out stronger.

— Julie Meintel, 37

Lebanon, OH



"IT WON'T WORK."

I'm going through this now, and I've decided to end my marriage of six years. It's not so much the sexual act but rather my husband's emotional betrayal that felt so harmful and, in my case, marriage-ending.

— Charee Mason-Edwards, 32

Houston,TX



Having experienced my ex-husband's infidelity and trying (then failing) to make the marriage work for two years after the fact, I can say that there is no room for cheating in a marriage. After he cheated, I was filled with suspicion every time he left the house, and I'm sure that was hard for him too. Infidelity breaks the most sacred treasure, that of trust.

— Ramona Binion, 59

Orlando, FL



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